cosi cosi

cosi cosi is italian for sort of. like is someone askes you 'come stai?' (how are you?) and you say 'cosi cosi' it's like saying things are okay, not flash, not completely repugnant. summer school is so useful. well, if i were going to italy to teach classical tragedy in english it might be. and i guess, as i will finish a double degree in 2 1/2 years it is useful even with my current plans to stay in nz and postpone teachers college to 2006.

yawn. work is slow. i haven't written in here for absolutely months. partly because so much has been happening. i have discovered that if i believed in luck i would have very bad luck. but i don't so me explanation for things in the whole heart arena absolutely sucking kumara (not my saying but i thought it fit rather well) is that someone upstairs is trying to teach me something important and i have to be completely hopeless in order to learn it.

i always thought romantic heroines had it so good - they're always loved so desperately and even though their stories have some very dark despair-filled moments (or years, sometimes lifetimes) they always get the comfort of having a true love - even if they can't see them, talk to them, effectively love them... blah blah blah. turns out this is very cold comfort. perhaps i'm in the middle of a very novel-like romance - in the unsure bit in the middle when you just can't tell if the endings going to be happy or sad. if i knew it were to be a happy ending it would be much more bearable.

my conclusion is this: unrequited love is only good in literature