raincloud

have been on top of the world since last thursday. wednesday was a bit rough:
- 1st misunderstanding with luuk -- don't worry (just incase any of our support crew/fan club are reading this, was all resolved in a beautiful manner late in the evening and only love him more... )
- tiny mistake at work snowballed, had been resolved by the time i got in at 3pm, but had whole barrage of emails coppied to me from ppl trying to sort it out... and it had been my fault.
- family conference about helping out more around the house - which wasn't a problem till dad and i started stirring each other up (and not toward love and good works...)
wednesday night brought a desperate need for resolution with luuk and relaxation in general. talked through the whole bollocking day with luuk who was pretty much perfect (well, as much as anyone can be...) and i'm sure gave me a massage at some point, or at least lots of hugs.
anyway, went home and slept well and the rest of the week went fine and dandy. home group thurs night, got lots of study done friday morning and went to camp in the evening

camp was pretty relaxing which was just what the dr ordered - good sleeps, fabulicious food, and good talks (tho i missed the feature presentation as studying - will see him speak this weekend however so no loss). some good connection with luuk but we weren't off by ourselves and anti social hardly at all. went for a walk (thru the kaiapoi graveyard no less) on saturday avo but that was pretty much it.

sunday afternoon, took palmerston north folk to airport then had coffee at untouched world. home to study, got email off to profs

which i just got a not so great reply to... hence the raincloud. gr... am certain it can be sorted and will be no problem, am also sick of studying and about ready to give it up. only 3 months to go but also a bit of work to do...
have been looking at long term goals (part of a self-management seminar on the sunday at camp) and not sure how my studies really help me toward any of i want to do or be later... sticking with them despite my lack of enthusiasm would probably be more the point now - not a bad thing - but am far from enthusiastic so need much encouragement and not what i've got from prof. today...

so, prayed about it at dinner break, and read 2 chapters of john eldredge's 'journey of desire', and felt a bit better, then told work mate and (for focussing on it) felt a bit worse. wrote email to luuk, felt a bit better and now doing this am feeling much better - bigger picture or something. so much is going wonderfully, can't expect everything to be perfect. and my studies are not my highest priority so rather them go a bit bumpy than certain other things.

anyway, was up to sunday night,
monday, work from early (which was strangely light and cheery for a monday - won't say it's cuz the boss is in another continent) till 4.30. then went to the mall to buy present for luuk - but what i wanted was sold out so just got him a card instead. sometimes it's hard to express my gratefullness to him
so i got the one of the little girl with her finger up her nose and thanked him for loving me tho i'm sometimes difficult and messy...
he liked it.

would put the picture on here but can't find it online, and fair enough, cause i had to pay for it, why should anyone get it for free?
see now... scary emails from prof.s don't bring out the best in me.
shall spare you all my meanness and stop writing.