bored at work

Okay, so it's a poor excuse for work. Basically I sit in a swivel chair and answer the phone, "Goodmorning/afternoon Airways New Zealand. Amy speaking." Feel like a robot. But they pay me over $12 an hour so call me robot.

And the unlimited coffee is appreciated.

And the internet access.

And the online phone list, touch tone phone, ergonoically designed computer/workspace...

It's a good life. Just boring.

Shall get a hot chocoloate.

~~~

Excellent. All set. So anyway, I spent most of the day looking for job vacancies in Europe and the UK. Just on the offchance Dad does get this job in Amsterdam... I'm thinking I'll never get a job in the Netherlands, you know, speaking no dutch and all, but England is just a trot across the North Sea, by my brilliant geographical knowledge, and probably cheaper to get to than a bus from Rotterdam. Though there is a cool song about Rotterdam or anywhere, liverpool or Rome. I could get a job in liverpool or Rome! I may have emailed liverpool, not sure. Sent heaps of emails about jobs advertised for youth workers in the UK. It's the only substantial work experience I have: three years as a youth leader. Rome on the otherhand... would be idyllic. But my Italian is as refined as my Dutch. Although, while i have no desire to learn Dutch I would love to learn Italian... talk about sexy.

There is a digger outside. Keeps freakin me out. Like some machines-taking-over-the-world disaster movie. AAaaaaaah! Run for your lives! Save yourself! It's coming to get me. After it's finished with the topsoil...

I have an hour to kill... grr. Or maybe I'll walk home, then I can leave early - don't have to wait for Dad to finish so I can get a ride... except I didn't bring a jacket because when i left home thismorning it was a beautiful sunny 'hellow it's spring tomorrow' kind of day. Now, however, grumble, winter is digging it's fingernails in. Bollocks to winter I say. I am over you. Go away. Go north. Haunt the other atmosphere. Scorn us no more. Almost a shakespearean rant at the weather.

27 minutes till I'm free.

And my hot choc is half gone. So is my moro bar. But I do have some werther's originals toffees. Ooh!

the rest of what i wrote in hanmer...

This place is getting busy. I would go for a walk and find the youth group... except people keep walking in the door behind me and it's cold out there.

Hanmer is another bollocky tourist place aimed at couples. Not singles or invalids like me. But I'm too tired and asthmatic to care. It's remarkable what doesn't bother one when one cannot breathe.

Okay. I can at least do something vaguely useful. My dialogue assignment. Characters... um... two good friends. Flatmates. I think they bet on something and one wants the other to pay up. Ooh! Me and Andrea bet on whether someone proposes in Paris. She gets me a KG of choc of my choice (so dark dark baby, dark) if he does. I get her the same - but her choice - so probably blackforrest - if he doesn't. That's it. But... the bet in fiction is serious for one and not the other. Or... misunderstood terms - one thinks it's if she does/not get engaged. Then he proposes and she turns him down, so wins the bet, then changes her mind when they get back home and they do get engaged... but not in Paris.

maybe.

Blah. Can't. Be. Bothered. Don't want dinner yet. But I'm sick of sitting on my lonesome.

I could bravely got and find them. Bound to be entertaining even if cold. That's something the occupants of this cafe ARE NOT. Very mundane to eavesdrop on. Or watch. Except the middle age couple outside who I think were glaring at me before. They must want an inside table. Fair enough. It's cold out there. But no snow. Toughen up folks. Plus... there's free tables. Maybe they're grumpy cause there food it taking a long time.

Hey, I see Alice and her mate. Maybe they're getting out. Na. I doubt it.

Ew. Grown man in speedos. So wrong.

I will go bathroom. Touch up make up. Blow nose. Then find clowns.

Enough sitting on my ass.

Then Laura came along and they all were getting out so I did get off my ass. But my make up remained icky and I went to the car and ate chips then slept all the way back to good ol Christchurch. Love warm house with warm fire and tonight we have lemon pudding! My favourite! Hallelujah!

Hanmer, from the road to the ski fields, looking back... 

What I Wrote in a Cafe at Hanmer Snow Day

I can't decide id it's snowing anymore. Perhaps it's 'rain falling as snow' like the forcaster said. Or else it's just boring old sleet. Whatever it is it's cold and wet and I'm glad to be inside and dry. Everyone else is in the pools, roasting nicely with snow falling on their shoulders. But I, armed with bronchitis and MnMs, am sitting in the cafe. I finished my book: "The Secret Garden". Now I'm watching whateverthehellisfallingfromthesky - wait! It is snow! It's white on the waitresses black tshirt. I'm tired. I want to go home and sleep by the fire. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered coming today. I played in the snow for a bit then sat in the car cause I got tired and asthmatic. I need to pace myself but meanwhile I have hardly spoken to any of the youth because there's not enough room in the van so John and I went with Shannon and Lyndelle in their car. Silliness, I tell you.

I just wish my head wasn't quite so heavy, my nose wasn't quite so snuffly, my MnMs running so low, my hair so tangled from that snow fight... though I did kick some ass.

Only 4 Oclock. Atleast an hour to kill. Blah blah blah... panther. cactus. traffic light ice blocks. red lips. 'you don't see that colour much in the afternoon. Except on working girls'. Cancer. Dan. Marie. Sad but beautiful love stories. Don't know what to cut from my script. Too long. Will give script to Stuart Hoar. Don't want to seem to eager. Haven't started dialogue assignment so might have nothing to worry about. Hope I know the next song the cafe plays. Songs seem very random but lots of NZ. Not as annoying as usual in light of olympic successes. Lots of steam coming off pools. John's hands were steaming when he was eating snow in the car. Last MnM.

Good thing there's free tables or else I might feel obliged to buy something more to stay. I often feel more obliged than I should I think.

Yay! I know the song on the radio. It's Persuasion. Probably a Finn brother. Tim. Or Neil. Grandad used to drive them to school. He he. Yay for Te Awamutu College. Yay for country roots. But I still prefer the city.

evil little bacteria

it's all their fault. though they have given me a fabulous excuse to do nothing all week. which is a fine idea during a holiday. but i would have much preferred to keep my health and do all of the fudging around i did this week as well as a few sessions of pilates (cause my sister got the dvds and i have a feeling watching her do them doesn't benefit me a whole lot) and a little more socializing and a lot less sleeping and griping at my brother. he's been home sick too. i think it's a psychosematic reaction to me getting sick - he has to compete for attention... so when we're both healthy i will conduct an experiment - i'll fake sick and see if he follows suit. i'm so mean. but i'm suspicious. and annoyed at having to babysit him all week and take all the rubbish he throws at you when he asks for help with something and he doesn't like the way you're helping him.

okay, rant is done.
yay for New Zealand winning medals! The somethingorother rowing twins, and the cyclist who advertises macdonalds, and then last night we got gold and silver for the men's triathalon! yay indeed!

to be honest i've hardly watched it at all. i did start watching mcleod's daughters again though. and, shock horror, tess and nick still haven't got together. it's so mundane. but i'm hooked. and i'm easy.

i like weird al yankovich. mainly cause he has no concern for political correctness. politicians could learn a lot from him. in fact everyone could. he's singing about 'white honky's with a real small booty'. so gloriously wrong.

breathing is overrated

only half an hour till i can finally go to the doctor. haven't been able to breath for about twelve hours and i'm quite disgruntled. it's like a chest infection... except i was fine this time yesterday and it came on really fast last night... grrr

i'm on holiday so at least im not missing anything... EXCEPT MY HOLIDAYS.

ick. feel gross. although, listening to a playlist made up entirely of frank sinatra and guns n roses is quite amusing and laughter is the best medicine. i'm downloading forest gump soundrack songs too... so that'll fit in quite nicely. i'm gonna have the 'feather theme' which i'm sure has a very good and profound name but 'feather theme' does it for me. and weird al yankovic's forest gump somethingorother... we'll see. bound to be amusing.

bollocks. can not breath. much. properly. comfortably. without pain. or airconditioner noises. bollocks i tell you.

shall go watch ER and make myself feel fortunate i have all my limbs and no brain tumour. life really sucks on tv sometimes.

man with braintumour. see? it could always be worse. 

friendly friday, insipid saturday

yesterday i was a socialite. today i was asleep. i got up at quarter to eleven (i rarely sleep in so this is impressive) and i haven't stopped yawning since. got lunch (aka breakfast) at KBs bakery en route to Moniques to watch ER. Took off to dance rehersal at 2:30... show at 4... total nonevent except for adorable children in cast and some rather talented young samoan guys. no complaints there. oh, and a really good jazz band from my old school. elitist burnside musicians but good music. dropped leah and a cpuple of the youth at Joe's to watch our rowers in the olympics then scooted back to see Hannah, then back to Joes to watch our rowers win gold and deliver fish and chips to the crowd. almost like jesus. even broke up the fish cuz they all said not to get any then ate the little i got... contrary folk. when they did the medals ceremony we all got up and held our fists to our chests and sand the national anthem like true patriots. it was sure to bug his neighbours but i think that was half the fun. then we sat down and watched trampolining.

i did other stuff, just as mundane, but i'm to sleepy to write about it. should do housework before i go to bed but it's so not happening. i'll just read a chapter and sleep. maybe in that order... i'll see how i go.

to quote God

it is good.

end of term! i survived wipeout! well, it wasn't that bad but i reserve the right to complain. cuz i can.

essay... completed, handed in, signed to say i didn't plagiarize anything without the proper acknowledgements... ta daa!

and test... finis! all done. and it was easy. although i know i shouldn't say that and jinx it but good thing i don't belive in jinxes. hehe. it is good. it is over. for two weeks i can paint and read and write without feeling guilty that i should be in the books. it is very good.

did some painting tonight - not four unreasonable but blissful hours like monday night. about one hour actually but mum and dad's pretty rangitoto is almost done. rangitoto is done anyway, just the contrary lampost to finish... i put the shadow on the wrong side... oops. almost done tho. and about time... six months later. started a knew one too - a jetty at dusk. i like dusk. promises a fun night or sleep - either way is good to me.

ow. stupid finger. i sliced half my pinky fingernail off while pealing kumaras at work today. pinky does not want to type. stupid pinky. hehe, thoughts of pinky and the brain. ow. why are there so many damn A's in the english language. ow... i'm getting pathetic and pouty now.

should drink switzel b4 it gets cold. il see how long im ok 2 type b4 i need to use the letter left of s. hehe. weird but im not ok to use other fingers for the left pinky keys. im very good with my typing. stick to the rules. or just type too much & need to get life outside of fiction writing. doing ok without Q, Z & A. used index finger then. tricky.

boring tangent. ow. i'll just type 'ow' everytime i use an (ow) A (ow). so what was (ow ow) i saying(ow)? oh, switzel... family remedy type drink. honey & apple cider vinegar and hot water. nice and healthy and warm and not milky bedtime drink.

bed. good idea. except i am officially on holiday and have luxury of not feeling guilty when i write till silly times at night. ow... [blubbing... almost] (ow)

hey, i think black books is on tonight. shall go and write tomorrow instead as am on holiday. and finger is sore. sure it will magically be perfect again tomorrow. good thing i'm being a socialiate most of the day. give pinky a break. ooow, it hurts. grrr. im off.

busy bug

I have started my essay! I am missing a lecture right now. It just started. Same subject as essay is for. Plus it was snowing when I woke up and that's a good enough excuse for me. Then it stopped snowing and just rained. Then it snowed again and now the sky above me is blue, though it's well surrounded by snow coloured grey clouds... so more snow! yay! All i have to do today is right this essay, keep the fire going, eat, run down to the letter box to see if season 2 of ER dvds are back (had to send scratched copy to Hong Kong for a refund... wish i could have gone with it... love Hong Kong... anyway, irrelevant tangent), write more essay, change CD when I get sick of listening to beautiful Rachmaninov for the fifteenth time, maybe do a bit more painting (but only if my essay is going wonderfully and is almost finished)...

I got home from work at six last night, had dinner and went upstairs to work on essay in bed with yummy electric blanket heat and funny Goodmorning Vietnam soundtrack... ended up painting all evening, listening to Rachmaninov and not doing ANY essay WHATSOEVER. oops. Painting looks good though. Did a very fun pohutakawa tree! I will take digital photos of finished paintings and post them on here.

This rachmaninov song is where they stole the melody of 'All by Myself' - that song Celine Dion did really well, and Bridget Jones did really badly... hehe. Ooh, second Bridget Jones is coming... soon, i hope. Cause I'm going south to see it. I will (finally) visit Dunedin and my one friend at Otago University and we will see it together and spend the rest of the weekend doing bad karaoke, watching chick-flicks, and eating junk food! [squealing with joy]

Back to essay...

i wish it were this snowy again. this noncommital cold is just... cold. It's muddy, not pretty, and certainly not as fun. For starters, you can't throw white stuff. Or make people (that don't look like people at all) out of it. This wonderful snowman was Bob Frank. 'Bob', cause it's fun to say. And 'Frank' cause we were in a Sinatra phase. Okay, not just a phase... 

ode to an afternoon nap

i love to sleep in the warmth of the afternoon sun. Or in today's case, in the warmth of my electric blanket for half an hour before i have to go to work. I was conscientious for about an hour after lunch... wrote the introduction to my essay which, by the way, is utter rubbish. It will hopefully improve by thursday, and grow, because it's all of three hundred words and it should be two thousand.

My eyes started to shut when i started to note points for my first paragraph. So decided on a quick nap. And at five to three I got up with about as much enthusiasm as the grass did thismorning under two inches of snow. I donned jacket and scarf and vaguely waterproof shoes and searched the 'secret hiding place' at my neighbours for the key to get in and do my job (that is basically play 'mum' - keep children from killing eachother while tidying, ironing, cooking...) Anyway, they forgot to leave the key out. So when the kids get home in about five minutes I will go down and figure something out... until their older brother gets home and brings his key so we can all get in to afternoon tea, homework, vacuuming and anti-television-watching techniques.

Off i go...

let it snow

the weather outside is frightful
but the fire is sooo delightful
don't know this next line
let it snow let it snow let it snow

so pretty!
cuts ten years of maturity off my age but i don't care
i took photos and now i'm posting something in the way of an explanation... the things i do when i should be working on that essay... i wonder if 'distracted by the pretty snow' would go down well in application for an extension?

i have my doubts

which, i hear, doesn't help when you're praying. I'm going to go off on a tangent now. You were warned.

Next September, God willing, I will be going to Africa (Zambia or D. R. Congo, not 100% sure which one yet) on a short term missions trip. One of the guys who is going with us was having a good ol' rave about praying with FAITH. You gotta BELIEVE. Basically, we're supposed to pray for five thousand dollars as if the cheque is already in the mail. This is easier said than done. $5000 is more than i've seen in my life time... except in the movies when the cops give in and at (least pretend to) give the bad guy the ransom money.

In the meantime, as in before my five grand comes through, which i'm sure it will (was that convincing?) i have to think of ways to fundraise, and design t-shirts. fun eh? i love tshirts. and i have to pray. I'm really excited though. I want to go to the Congo and help out Sandy Meikle. She's a nurse and... well, i get the idea that she does pretty much everything.

So, if i work really hard, and finish my degree by the end of the first semester next year, then I'll hopefully be applying for a visa to the Democratic Republic of Congo and then leaving...
on a jet plane
don't know when i'll be back again
leaving...
on a jet plane
don't know when i'll be back again

i took the photo, then he pummelled me with snow... then i locked him outside. note his shirt. silly boy. 

the weather outside is frightful but the fire is so delightful! 

ian. sees. food. 

the folks. some airport.  

me and 'hot hannah' 

desert in noosa

profound title

Wow, first blog. I'm sure this doesn't qualify as a significant contribution to society but whatthehell i'm gonna feel like a significant contributor cause i can. Actually, confession, you were warned, i only opened this up to reply to acatofimpossiblecolour's post and i really have very little to say right now. don't worry, it'll pass. most of the time shutting me up is the trick.

blah blah blah. I want to write a to do list, but of all the mundane things, that would really be a bad way to start, what i'm sure will become, a very interesting expose... (as in pron. 'ex-pos-ay' - there's probably a little line above a letter but that stuff always went over my head so why confuse you as well?)

doop-de-doo... listening to gabrielle. she always wears sunglasses. after too many episodes of ER i suspect she is being beaten up and has bruises under her shades. '... if you love me, let me know, if you don't want me, tell me so, it can't be love if you're hurting me this much. if this is love then i don't want to know...' or something like that. quite depressing really. and reinforcing my suspicions of abuse.

but then she seems like someone who could have been the next aretha franklin so surely she wouldn't take crap from men. see... next song: ' ... i learnt to love myself. don't need no one else. baby can't you see that i dont need your chains around me. you say that this was love, then it was just too much. i needed to be free. your kind of love was killing me...' see? she wouldn't take crap.

actually i think women pressure women more than men do. i mean, men do give woman crap, i'm not denying that. but i reckon most women feel pressured to be a certain something because of what other women will think of them. this is a huge generalization but my blog, my gross exaggerations... i mean, how many men actually notice make up, hair, clothes...

okay, i'm bored of this tangent.

i'm also full. i've eaten very well today. toast, coffee and an orange for breaky, apple, mnms and a bagel for lunch, kiwifruit, gingernuts and coffee in the arvo, broccoli, mashed taties and salmon and parsley white sauce for tea. oh, and choc icecream. mmm...

to do list:

1. read for/write essay for 'christian tradition' paper on 'why jesus was not accepted as messiah by the majority of jews?'

2. study for test on pop culture and the media. could almost qualify watching tv as studying except he gave us a prep sheet and it's not on there. rather there's a list of about 50 terms (8 of which will be on the paper, 5 of which we have to define) and four essay questions (two of which will be on the paper and one of which we have to answer). grrr. i think i'll just watch tv. and look at the prep sheet in the ad breaks. am genius.

3. write short film. 20 minutes, so about 30 pages. picked slightly depressing plot but i'm hooked to it. i started writing and i'm so desperate to find out what happens that i have to finish it and i might as well use it for my assessment since i'm writing it anyway.

4. write next chapter of current fan fiction story. i'm sure this is a sad and pathetic hobby. but, again, i'm hooked. and there are certainly more dangerous addictions than romance writing. and ER.

5. finish painting of pretty sunset and take to 'article' gallery in town. and go to hummingbird cafe next door to reward self for doing such a cultured thing. he! am cultured! so is bacteria. bollocks

6. stop using bollocks as an expletive.

7. start saying 'expletive' instead.

8. no.

9. make flyers and forms for labour weekend camp. find chef. find speaker. find phone number for camp owner. panic. take pills. organise food myself. get already overworked leaders to do short talks and then write the main talks myself. make sign-up sheet for talet quest and pray that youth will be inspired to make fools of selves in organised fashion. make camp booklet. realise no one keeps these so it doesn't need to be a bollocky work of art. make roster for duties. make list of things to take that forgot last year - eg. teatowels. organise youth into cabin groups making sure certain troublemakers don't get in same cabins. remember that i should delegate more. remember that i tried that last year and sometimes it's easier to just do it myself. remind leaders that it is not a good idea to have public bottom-smackings of boys who like to pull moonies, even if they deserve it, when conservative parents are being 'chef' in the next room, and returning soon with names of winner of talent quest... woops.

10. relax. labour weekend is a couple of months away. and leah will help. and joe can organise transport - ooh! new van! petrol costs covered by church! (almost) financial freedom!

11. write email to cousin in wellington

12. call hillary since i scared her last night with a late and panicky text. was feeling very sad. asked her to pray since she's a night owl and the first person in my phone directory who i thought would be awake and wouldn't mind praying... and is still on speaking terms with god. had a really good day and feel a bit silly for being so sad last night.

13. stop making excuses for self. it's okay to feel the way i feel. i was sad. now i'm okay. i was sad for reasons that aren't making me sad right now but that doesn't mean they're not good reasons.

14. stop listening to 'everybody loves raymond' in next room and trying to keep up.

15. stop pretending i care what's going on on 'everybody loves raymond'. ooh! deborah is apologising. i wonder what she did. or maybe something bad happened and she's being sympathetic. oh. not the case. 'live studio audience' (my ass) are laughing.

16. stop being annoyed at brother for switching channels when i'm not even watching.

17. stop thinking about watching ANOTHER episode of ER. but my brother likes it now so he could probalby be convinced. only mum is SO sick of it. silliness. of all tv dramas it really is up there.

18. get over ER

19. make more reasonable to do lists.

Hey! i did as many 'to-do's' as years i've been alive. it's providence. or something. no, that doesn't make sense. at least im consistent.